mardi, septembre 30, 2003
Publié par lowonthego à 8:12 p.m.
lundi, septembre 29, 2003
Publié par lowonthego à 2:55 p.m.
dimanche, septembre 28, 2003
Sometimes, I feel as though we still live in the same time period as when people began to claim that the world was round. It seems like such a long time ago that people were shunned because they claimed that the world was round. Some people have rose-coloured glasses on. The world isn't flat people! Perspectives of people in the church are so closed off. Christians in general ( not all..but most) have this IDEAL--this perfect vision of the way things are, and they like it to stay that way. Don't believe me? I can count the number of times that i've been in a church that has talked about sex. Or drugs. Or gambling. How many times have our pastors talked about homosexuality? Yes..i've heard sermons on homosexuality. The gist of it? Homosexuality is bad. And yes, as Christians, we shouldn't condone homosexuality. Does that mean we shun homosexuals? We focus so much on one aspect that we forget the other aspects. We forget that you can still love the person, without loving and condoning sin. Jesus loved the prostitute and the leper. Jesus loves us. We choose to believe that all the girls in the church are pure, and don't spread their legs at night. We choose to believe that church goers don't smoke. We choose to ignore these issues--because by prying deeper, we find that it hurts. We find that our glasses are actually tinted rose coloured. We find that the world isn't perfect. And that the world really isn't flat after all.
We haven't moved past the days when females were exiled out of the city when they had their periods, because they were dirty. We haven't moved past the days of leper colonies. We strive for this perfect utopia, and we've managed to believe that we've created it. But we haven't. Too many things have been swept under the rug. Our foundations are not secure. The walls are cracking. There's a drip in the pipe, but it's about to burst forth with gushing water.
Does our quest for this utopia mean that we should ignore and bypass these issues? Does that mean we ignore the fact that we could potentially have a prostitute who is struggling in our midst? By doing this, we don't eliminate the problems. We don't help people who are struggling with issues in their lives get past it. We tell ourselves that Jesus will heal all wounds. And yes. He will. But how does he heal when we refuse to acknowledge what is swept under the rug? We can't remain static and unchanging forever. To a certain extent, Christians have to change too. This is not to say that we should diverge away from the Word. This isn't what i'm saying at all. I'm just saying that we have to learn to acknowledge certain things. We need to learn to talk about issues in our world. We need to show the world that we aren't just a bunch of brainwashed, sheltered and cold people, who don't know anything about what impacts the lives of our non-christian brothers and sisters.
Open up your eyes guys. The world is staring at us in the face.
Publié par lowonthego à 7:57 p.m.
Anja and I went to the rowing party..not really wanting to go. After all, we aren't drinkers and we don't party. However, it turned out to be a pretty fun night--probably one of the most fun I've had here in Toronto so far...it even beats out some fun nights in Edmonton.
So when we got there, the first activity was a beer drinking contest. Not being a drinker, it was totally hilarious to watch these people guzzle down the beer. The human body is so fascinating; its amazing how much beer people can chug down in less than a second. That being done, most people were getting fairly drunk. Time for the initiation ceremony.
the task: perform a hawaiian dance for all the senior rowers in the public park ( mind you, it was 11:30 at night). Banana, orange, pineapples (only certain Edmonton people will get that...and after today, Anja and Kate). It was rather embarassing.2nd task: Run to Bathurst station and St. George station and collect as many transfer tickets in one minute as possible. We got 120 tickets. Not to shabby eh? 3rd task: buy 3 tropical fruits ( we bought mango, pineapple and kiwis)
Doesn't seem to bad...and it wasn't. It was totally fun. Oh yeah..we had to do this with all members of a group holding on to a canoeing paddle. People on the TTC ( subway) must've thought we were totally crazy.
All in all...a pretty fun night. Way better than I expected which was totally SNAZZERIFIC!
Publié par lowonthego à 1:01 a.m.
samedi, septembre 27, 2003
blogger is working again baby.I have to go to a rowing party tonight. I really actually don't want to go. Everyone knows i'm not a partier...and definitely not a drinker. Nevertheless, its an initiation party, and therefore all the new crew members must attend. BLARGH. At least I will be able to laugh at all the drunk people.
Why is it that drinking is such a "cool" thing in our society? I don't find anything cool about a) intoxicating your body b) getting fat..because beer is fatty, and c) getting drunk and making a fool out of yourself.
Now..after this quick intermission, its back to the regular programming of studying for yours truly!
Publié par lowonthego à 3:35 p.m.
jeudi, septembre 25, 2003
me..I want to be a child of faith, but what my heart wants most, my body turns away...
why do i let my pride decide everytime?
Let me draw from your strength...and bathe in your grace
It takes so much to drop me to my knees...
~Excerpts from Jill Paquette's Take my Life
I don't find Christianity. A lot of the time, we put on this face that says, " yep...i'm totally cool with all of this." When people ask us how we are doing, we answer, " Fine". But the truth is, a lot of the time we aren't fine. It takes so much for me to give up my control. To leave it to Him to do the work. Its so hard to not let my pride interfere.
Easy isn't what i'd call this...
The more i try to make this happen, the less it's clear to me..
.Sometimes its hard to live this way...
What are the answers gonna be?
I wanna grab a hold of something to give me some security...
When everything i pray for is not your will for me...
~Excerpts from Jill Paquette's Sometimes Yes, Sometimes No
Far beyond my deepest heart's desire
Far beyond what I could ever dream...
Is your perfect plan for me..
author of love shapes my destiny...
If all my dreams were answered, they still could not compare
to the beauty of your ways, and all your plans for my life..
You've been scripting out a story for me
before the very foundations of time....
~Excerpts from Eric and Leslie Ludy's Far Beyond
Publié par lowonthego à 5:42 p.m.
mardi, septembre 23, 2003
Is this why our global society is more and more becoming comprised of corpulent farts like me? Everything has become automated. Gone are the days of CRAZY FUN standard driving ( except for car nuts like me..who recognize that driving standard is WAY better than driving automatic), manual "wind-down" windows, walking, and snail mail. In their places are pieces of "smart" machinery that does our jobs for us. No wonder most of us have nothing better to do than go to mickey dees, eat 20 nuggets and get fat. * innocent look*o(^-^)oWe create machines to exercise on...instead of exercising in the outdoors. How many kids go outside to play..how many children ( myself included) dance in the rain, play with mud, draw on the sidewalks with stones?
The information revolution has created a breed of soggy, sleepy, corpulent beasts. I fear that I am one of them ?????
Publié par lowonthego à 4:43 p.m.
lundi, septembre 22, 2003
deej..i think you were right. An umbrella would be a very good..no..make that a GREAT investment.
On a slightly more serious note though, its amazing how walking in the rain helps one clear their head and makes them think. As I walked down St. George street and then onto College Street, the rain was refreshing. It also gave me a chance to ponder over my anger yesterday night. I don't even know why I was so angry at him. Perhaps hurt, converted to anger, would be a better word. I don't like the fact that it seems that for him, I was just another girl he thought he could add to his list, but in reality that shouldn't change things. It doesn't change the fact that he became my friend this summer, nor does it change the fact that he gave me good advice. It doesn't change the fact that I got to learn more about him as a person, or that I enjoyed him as a friend. Even knowing that to him, all I was was another potential score in the game he plays. Who knows? Maybe it isn't true, and he actually values our friendship. I've done my fair share of stupid things to my friends and so in that respect, I can't judge him. Therefore, he can think whatever he wants about my feelings for him. Its not like i'm losing out on anything. Its his friendship that counts right? So while i was angry last night, i think those feelings have now evaporated..along with the rain outside.
Publié par lowonthego à 12:16 p.m.
dimanche, septembre 21, 2003
This morning i woke up and went to NCAC for morning church. I had a good time...watching Francis and Mitchell act like the people on Jackass. They were flipping people onto other couches by jumping onto a couch. Good times.
I came back and decorated Tania's room because it was her b-day today while Mari distracted her.
Then I went to Freedomize with Deej and Chung. It was SOOOO good. I loved it.Then we went to mickey dees where i ate 20 nuggets. All i have to say is..regardless of them laughing at me... THAT FELT GOOOOOOOOOODD.
However, after mickey dees we had this conversation, and because of it..i'm pissed.
You don't even know i'm talking about you..but seriously, your ego pisses me off. You can't get every girl you try to get, and you HAVEN'T gotten me to fall into your trap..REGARDLESS of what you think. Just because you've gotten all these cookie cutter girls to fall in love with you..realize that I'm NOT a cookie cutter and I refuse to be one. Why do you think I've rejected so many guys? I just thought you were my friend and that I was your friend. Apparently, you seem to think that I have fallen into your trap and that I do "love you". Yeah. Well, nope. I'm not your ordinary type of girl. You can't play your games with my heart and think you will win it. You haven't. Don't assume you've won me over when you haven't. You're my friend. That's it. Sorry if i sound mean and harsh. I'm not sorry for what i'm saying, but i am saying sorry for how i'm saying it. I sound mean. You probably don't read this anyways. I'm just pissed off royally. If you do read this and know who you are...call me or e-mail me or something. Unless I'm not worth it. Which is FINE.Was I just a pawn in all of this? You may have played the game..and thought you won. But really you haven't won anything. Unless you feed off of the unhappiness of the girls you know. Do you? I can't tell. Why am I so hurt by all of this? I don't even know. I can't even answer that question. Maybe because thats all i meant to you. Another girl you could score... I actually thought you were my friend. Not some girl you could add to your list. But thats all it was wasn't it. Am i totally wrong here? Am i being that bitch that I was in Edmonton? I don't know. If I am... please tell me. okay...so now i'm sitting here thinking...and now i'm thinking that you won't want to be my friend. I'm not dependent on you. But i'm always so freakin afraid of what people will think of me. And i hate knowing people are mad at me...even though i'm mad at you. BLARGH. I'm such an idiot. I should've known it was your competitive nature. I mean..i'm the same way..but i don't go around and I don't break guys' hearts. To clarify..i don't have feelings for you. So don't think i do..just because i feel bad. But i do feel bad nevertheless. I'm sorry. I really am. Because I did enjoy this summer. I enjoyed talking to you. I enjoyed the conversations we had. But now i'm confused. I don't even know who to believe. All i know is that I need to make it clear to you that I haven't fallen into your trap..and you can't play any games whether unintentionally or intentionally with me. I am not one of the girls in the box. I'm sorry. I sound SO stupid... and I want to get rid of this..but I'm tired of holding everything in. eventually it'll come out anyways. so maybe this is good that i'm saying all of this. If you really are my friend, you'd understand anyways. Well..maybe not understand why i'm mad..but understand that i can be mad..i dunno..now i'm just confuddling myself. I'm turning into a blonde. Thats what Toronto does for ya. Maybe I'm totally wrong. Which i often am.
Publié par lowonthego à 10:12 p.m.
vendredi, septembre 19, 2003
i mean, school is school...you can still end up jobless and homeless after getting a post secondary education but at least you wouldn't be a lonely old homeless fart if you had friends. You'd just be old and homeless which is 10 times better. I'd rather do horribly in school, and know that I had friends who I could really trust, instead of do great in school, but have friends that i know would let me down in a second because they had to run off and do homework.Thats my rant for the day. Lovely.
Publié par lowonthego à 8:57 p.m.
jeudi, septembre 18, 2003
Publié par lowonthego à 5:57 p.m.
lundi, septembre 15, 2003
Publié par lowonthego à 2:53 p.m.
dimanche, septembre 14, 2003
I'm missing lots of people. At the same time i'm meeting loads of people. So its a give and take situation...Nevertheless, I miss Edmonton, my parents and my friends. This is pretty dandy though.
This post was really about nothing. I bought a bike today. Well, kinda. Katie is buying it for me because she gets a discount..and i'm going to pay her back. At any rate ...yay..no more walking.
Publié par lowonthego à 4:19 p.m.
vendredi, septembre 12, 2003
Now its 4:48 am and i'm sitting around waiting to go to rowing. And i'm tired. But i'm too scared to go back to sleep because i know i won't wake up in 12 minutes. GRRR...STUPID STUPID idiotic people. That's what Toronto is filled with.
Publié par lowonthego à 4:56 a.m.
mercredi, septembre 10, 2003
In other Lydia news...
My gas tank is running on empty. I'm actually physically drained. Each morning I wake up at approximately 4:15 am ( 2:15 Edmonton time), so that I can attend rowing practices by 5:30 am ( 3:30 Edmonton time). Then I come back, hopefully take a 15 minute nap, eat breakfast, and then begin my trek to campus ...which is technically 15 minutes away from my residence. However, that is only the start of campus. Most of my classes are on the other side of campus, therefore an additional 30 minutes at least is required for me to walk to my classes. Yes, there is a more efficient method to getting to my classes. The TTC...for non Torontonians, that would be the subway. However, I resent the inflated prices and am not willing to pay such huge amounts of money for a TTC pass ( $110 a month at least). So ped is my only means of motility. Classes are sporadically aligned, however I have very few classes ( and yet, the maximum courseload...and actually an overload). By the time its 9:30 pm (7:30 pm), I'm wiped out and am forced to go to sleep.
That is the typical day in the new Toronto life of Lydia.
Aside from that, I attended a campus crusade meeting yesterday ( the first of the year). This year and my walk with God has definitely been interesting. I met a girl that actually came to Christ because of Karmen Wong's parents. She actually visited Edmonton earlier this summer and I was supposed to meet her, but didn't end up going. This world is such a small world. Then at campus crusade, I met a whole bunch of people who know Karmen, Jonathan and Teresa. It was actually quite uncanny how popular this trio actually is.Also at the campus crusade meeting, I saw this guy..and instantly remembered that he was on my plane from Edmonton to Toronto. ( See? I told you I am in posession of an uncanny memory!). I told him that...and after the initial shock that I remembered him, without even talking to him, we got into a conversation. He's good friends with RYAN LAU! Isn't that crazy? The Christian community is crazy! Everyone knows someone who knows someone.
What else is there to say? Hrrm...no laundry room till September 30th now. I find that crazy and totally unacceptable, but meh..what can a small, insignificant dot in a huge city do? not much i'd say. Speaking of insignificance, University is definitely a place where I feel very insignificant. Its a very impersonal place, where I find it difficult to make friends. Its a bit lonely at times, but has also forced me to depend more on God. Each day, I'm constantly and definitely more aware of all the small miracles He performs in my life. I've also become more aware of His intricate and awemazing plans that He has for me. Its definitely been a strange, liberating and amazing experience. I'd definitely reccommend moving away to all you at homers. Not saying I don't miss home and my parents. I do very much. However, there are just some things that you can't learn from living at home.
At any rate, please continue to pray for me. Its very lonely here sometimes and yet, there isn't much time to sit wallowing in self-pity.
I miss all of you so much. Well..all of my friends. i don't miss anyone who's a crazy stalker and reads this. I'm always here for you to talk to, call me whenever. E-mail me, snail mail. Whatever. Trust in God always! I'm praying for all of you!
Ciao bellas and hrrm..whats the masculine form for beautiful? I don't know...bellos...^_^ MUAH!
Publié par lowonthego à 12:12 p.m.
lundi, septembre 08, 2003
DYING without an internet connection.
At the library which is like 30 mins walk.GRRR
Toronto is HUGE
Everyone eats hot dogs
I'll update something worth reading when i get an internet connection
they say it'll be tomorrow
I have no faith in that claim, seeing as they said we'd have it on friday..then today...now tomorrow
Still no laundry. Not till thursday. SMELLY
Plugins on my side of the room still don't work
Roomate is great
Scary bums on the streets everywhere
Started school today
miss you all.
Publié par lowonthego à 3:21 p.m.
lundi, septembre 01, 2003
Publié par lowonthego à 3:28 a.m.