her face still haunts me. her blonde hair, her pink shirt and her clear platform shoes.

a year later, i wonder where she's gone.

i can't get her out of my head. out of my mind. i just want to know if she's okay. if she's alive.

Pride and Lies

Sometimes its hard to dispell the lies satan feeds you. for the past while i've felt lonely and inadequate--a bit of a pride issue, for pride too is a lack of faith. its a lack of faith in God and too much faith in oneself.

anyways i'm realizing how prideful i am, and i'm not liking it. ugh.

but what a good lesson.

in other news, we invited a bunch of people over for dinner last night...and they brought up spiritual discussion without us even bringing it up! Praise God! They asked all sorts of questions! One guy, even went in search of other people he knew would be interested in the conversation!!!One girl asked us what the difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament--out of nowhere!! And then she kept asking us questions, like "how can i be a good person?"

Amazing night.

oilers are winning.

i'm so happy.

haha ^_^

woot, i am now a hockey fan. sa-weet.

i'm sorry about the sens deej, i was rooting for them too.

i have officially converted.

too bad i don't really have time to watch the games. so i just keep myself updated online whenever i check my e-mail.

this blog is really about nothing. i'll update more later.

being an intern is lonely..

but i'm finding that it is a special place to be..in that i have the capability of developing really close relationships to the girls on project, since i'm so close to them in age.

this makes me smile...because it means that i have extra opportunities to be used by God to influence them and really watch as the principle of 2 Timothy 2:2 comes to life in my life.

some good looking people.

today i miss everyone.

its a blah day.

i feel like a half-breed mutt. you know, the half student-half staff mutt that i was warned about. its no one's fault, just my own. just one of those days ya know.

i miss my best friends and i miss having them to talk to whenever i need them.

okay enough of this wallowing.

i'm going to do something productive and amazingly brilliant.

time is flying by at breakneck speeds. how is it that there is only 1 month and 2 days left before i return to the t-dot?

time is awastin'. love you all. yes, i'm still alive.

eat peas.

i am wondering....

if i broke my middle toe.

its become a purplish colour and i can't bend it. ahh well, at least i won't be able to dance for the next 6 weeks or so.

anja and i took a break from studying and went and had a little adventure.

we found our rooftop patio!!!! its great up there!! there's even barbecues and tables and such!!!

i have a feeling that there's going to be many a summer party up there :)

lets make the first one in July when everyone is back.

i realized today that i truly love Montreal. it hasn't just been a passing fad. and i realized that i love spending time with students, getting to know them and being able to get them excited about the vision of reaching the lost.

i had always thought that if i moved to Quebec, i would move to a small town...but on Friday, Andy (campus director for Montreal) told me that next year they hope to add 4 staff to the team in Montreal...and his words have been buzzing around my head since then. i love the vision for Montreal, and i love the city. i love working with students and i love the staff in Quebec.

while some have a heart for overseas missions, over the past year, my heart for Canada, and for francophones has increased dramatically and i realize now that my passion is for the lost in a country where there is no excuse for people to have not heard the gospel.

i came to Montreal this summer, in part, because i wanted to see if joining staff would be something i would contemplate. i realize now, that in my heart, joining staff is the only thing i currently desire doing...and i'm realizing even more that perhaps Quebec is the place that is grasping at my heart. Andy talking about Montreal needing staff is definitely resonating in my head right about now.

anyways. its food for thought. we'll see what i say at the end of the 6 weeks.

well..how sad. the usual summer phenomenon is back. readership has plummetted from 80 hits a day to about 30...and it will soon plummet even more. it'll take all year to get back up to the 80s...although i think 80s were a new high in my blog readership. besides, i don't take too much stock in this...and if i do, well then this is a good hit to my pride. afterall, i don't really write for people..i simply want to record some of my daily random thoughts...which is probably why low on the go is like a box of chocolates. sometimes you'll get the really good nutty kind...and at other times you'll get the awful ones filled with cherries or something idotic like that. i just thought i'd post the sitemeter graph, because its almost linear in its decline, and it made me chuckle a bit.

in other news...it occurred to me that humans are constantly seeking excitement. Excitement in travel, excitement in courses we take at school, excitement in work and excitement in relationships. We're constantly looking for what will PLEASE us, even if we know its probably not the best for us. As a girl i observe this quite often in myself and in relationships my girlfriends have with guys--it doesn't surprise me when they choose the exciting and the "bad" over the solid, sturdy and dependable (caveat here, i'm sure this happens with guys as well..i just don't have as many guy friends in relationships). But at the end of the day, there is much to be said for the solid, the sturdy and the dependable. And who is to say that excitement and dependable are mutually exclusive? They aren't! But sometimes, when caught up in the hoohah of life, they may seem as such. Fads are exciting...i mean, kabbalah bracelets? come on! they were the RAGE. but after the excitement is over and the lust has gone, tell me what is left Madonna? Christianity on the other hand, is old..and for most passé. What a tragedy though, since if we looked past what society dictates it to be, we would see something simply exciting and revolutionary. This is, not unlike Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. The poor guy wasn't so great looking, and wasn't too charismatic. In fact, compared to Mr. Wickham, he was rather surly and boring. But at the end of the day, it was Mr. Darcy who captivated the hearts of the Bennet family, despite it taking awhile.

This is applicable on so many differing levels, and i realize this blog is really about nothing new for the general reader. But for myself it is a lesson i am learning once again in a sort of different form. there was once a time when i would elaborate on this, but some things are just too close to the heart, and i'm learning that my life is an intricate web to which many others are connected, so you will have to deal with the cryptic. That is, unless you can't stand it...in which case you can talk to me and perhaps i will deign to reply.

All in all though, there is something lovely about sturdiness and dependability. i am captivated by it. Perhaps it is so lovely because He was what we were made for.