Low on the Go!

i'ma headed back to the wasteland.


i think the title says it all....

okay, admittedly, its not REALLY a wasteland (let it be known that unless you're from deadmonton, you are not permitted to make fun of it. yes! hypocrisy at its finest. right here, ladies and gents).

i'm pretty much sad. going home to edmonton means that the end of the summer is quickly approaching. this makes me teary eyed because i've had a GREAT summer. its been phenom. even just today, i met up with Adam Lim and Daniel Richardsen and we went to Kensington market where we had the BEST burritos EVER! Seriously, their yam burrito is fit for a superstar. We also had amazing ice cream/gelato (i had pistachio gelato...mmm amazing!) at this fair trade certified cafe, and i bought a button for two dollars. it says: "Eat vegetables, don't be a vegetable."
today was just an sampling of the fantasmic times i've had in Toronto this summer.

lets be honest though. every year, before going back to edmonton, i feel a sense of trepidation and dread. its always almost inevitable that i'll get in an argument with my mum (we're both very stubborn and feisty) or that a sense of extreme loneliness will set in. the truth is, edmonton is where i have to fight my demons. its where the rubber hits the road, and spiritual breathing isn't about getting warm fuzzies, but necessary to survive. its where everything i've learned during the year is tested, and its where i often fail.

i don't mean to bemoan going home. i am grateful for loving parents who have supported me throughout my lifetime, and am eager to see them. i am grateful for many high school friends--most of whom i love seeing, because many of them represent at least a 6 year history...this year, it'll be 10 years since i met a whackload of them in grade 7.

nevertheless, going home is going to be tough. there are always numerous reasons. the main thing being that i don't have a home church to go to. i have no christian friends left in edmonton, and thus its like leaving a spiritual greenhouse where there are structures and support and going into a desert, where the solitude stretches for miles. there's also so much i want to do, so much i want to accomplish. i want to love my friends, i want to share the gospel with them, i want to inspire my parents to keep on pushing on, i want to spend lots of time with God, i want to honour my parents. but often, i leave, with my goals being unmet. going back is always a good reminder of the sinner that i truly am, but while i am there, i often forget the Grace that will bring me home.

this time though, i do not want to forget this grace. i don't want to go home with the pressure of "doing" things. its not as though my constant striving to "do" things will impress the LORD. unlike being a good enough student to skip a grade, there are no extra brownie points for attempting to do things on my own and prove that i am good enough and strong enough. there needs to be the realization that i am neither of the two.
there needs to be the realization that i am justified by grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Jesus Christ, whom God put forward as a propitiation by His blood to be received by faith.

while i admit to being anxious about going home, i am also excited. i'm excited for the down-time i'll have (especially since i'm getting my wisdom teeth out on monday), and i'm excited to read some good books and simply veg. i'm excited to have unhurried and constant solid times with God and to have only Him to rely on. i'm excited to get away from the clutter that is Toronto life. i'm excited to eat the best pho i've ever had and not need to do grocery shopping. i'm excited to be away from the internet and not be able to blog-stalk 24/7.

pray for me if you get a chance.

and call me. i'm sure i'll be bored, and i'd love to talk to anyone who wants to talk to me ^_^
email me for my phone number.

i'll be back september stinking 4th.