montréal.
i'm a bit apprehensive to write about this on my blog, because i know that people *ahem staff ahem* read this too, and its weird knowing that there are potentially people who read this, who could influence where i go in the next couple of years.
oh well. staff in toronto know i'm a feisty one (especially russ and joe...poor kids..) and now, everyone else who reads this can know too.
i've been thinking a lot about where i'll be next year. its been a thought that's gone around in my head for the past couple of months, but has recently resurfaced, seeing as i've sent in part 1 of my staff application, and am going to be doing my staff interview at winter conference.
a part of me has a feeling that i won't be placed in Montreal next year (which, in my opinion, would be a stupid move); a part of this speculation is based on the fact that i'm just a pretty pessimistic person, and since there are multiple people who desire to go to Montreal, i probably wouldn't be placed there. Another part of this speculation is random hearsay from different staff members who are also doubtful that i'll get placed in montreal.
which brings me to my next point, am i idolizing Montreal too much? OR do i have a call to go to the city? i don't know. i think my reasons for going to Montreal are pretty genuine. i mean, last summer, i didn't even have a desire to go to Montreal. Despite being a big city person, i thought about going to Sherbrooke or Quebec City. Talking to Andy and Selene made me rethink this decision...soon, i fell in love with Montreal. while some people choose the city where they want to work in based on the staff team, or the general city atmosphere itself, these aren't my main factors for wanting to go to Montreal. Sure, they have an awesomely great (and fun!) staff team, but that's just an added bonus. i love students in montreal. i love PEOPLE in montreal. my heart aches for people in their gay district, students at mcgill, students at u de m, for their chinese and muslim student population. i don't know what it is specifically... i've just really developed a heart for this city.
and while i sit here, i'm crying...because i don't know what i'll do if i don't get placed there. does this mean i'm idolizing this city too much? is my heart too fixed on this city? or is it a call to go to this city?
its a weird notion, because for most people, if they have a passion for a certain place, they go to this place. students who have a passion for east asia, go on stint or join staff in east asia. students who have a passion for north africa, go to north africa. and yet, joining staff is different; i feel like i don't really have a choice. yeah, i'll put down my top three choices, or whatever, but ultimately, my placement lies in the hands of men and women at the head office who don't even know me, and don't know how much of a heart i have to go to Montreal.
at any rate, i don't know where i'm going with this...but i guess i just have a lot of thinking to do...about myself and about this whole notion of joining campus crusade staff.
***
edit: 12:30am.
to lighten the mood...
i've decided...forget about joining staff with campus for christ!!!! pfft.
i've realized... two things i love most (other than God). starbucks and the province of quebec.
it saddens me deeply that wonderful cities like sherbrooke and quebec city do not have starbucks.... what a pity!
instead of joining staff, i might just pool all the money i have, and open up a starbucks franchise!!! spread the joy!!!
just kidding...in case you couldn't tell.
S'abonner à :
Publier des commentaires (Atom)
10 commentaires:
i have some thoughts about this (as i'm in the same place as you are) ...
but really, i think we need to ask ourselves this question: no matter where i go, will i still believe that GOD has all things worked out for the best? whether or not you or i will be placed in Montreal, is really a secondary question flowing out of a deeper question: is God good? so if you are placed there, is God good? and if you aren't placed there, is God good?
and I my second question would be: do we trust the men and women who have sovereignly been placed in leadership – there to guide and shepherd us? do we trust that they will do what is best, not only for us, but also for the long term vision of where Canada needs to be? It is easy to think that we know more than them, but let’s be honest here: we’re 20 somethings that have very little life or ministry experience, and those who are leading us are making decisions filled with the Spirit and out of a well-of deep wisdom and experience.
So rest in God and rest in the fact that there are great leaders that we can indeed trust. You know them and I know them and they are great people. No matter where you end up, it will be for God’s glory and your satisfaction
ok ... the comment thing was all screwy ... sorry for posting twice ... now three times. hahahaha.
oh well, the more comments there are the more impressive.
oh that last line wasn't supposed to have a "?" ... it was supposed to be a :) but for some reason, when it got transferred from Word to here it turned into a ?
so yea ... that's not a question. it's a statement :)
heh
i guess, dlu, my question stems from the fact that IF (and thats a big IF because i'm not really sure) i feel called to Montreal, and the leadership team do not feel i'm called there..then there's a disconnect somewhere right? in that case who is right?
i guess, i'm just in this phase of disillusionment right now, where i feel as though i'm only valued because of strategy. in some ways, i feel as though what i want doesn't really matter so long as i'm one of the 200 by 2007 or whatever that goal was...
perhaps you're right--this does reflect a lack of trust in the leadership...
aaaaand ... rereading that i realize it's not articulate at all.
and it's just barely grammatically correct.
but yes. i am in university. and yes, lord willing i will be graduating.
seriously.
i think in some ways that reflects how Canadians view leadership and authority. interestingly, nate and i were talking about this the other day.
it's hard to separate ourselves from our culture. however, i think we as canadians tend to be suspicious of authority and are extremely independently minded. especially coming back from asia i noticed this. (in asia though, it goes towards group think, which I also think is unhealthy).
i think in some ways, we can be cynical and think that our leaders only value us for strategy or as some number. but after talking to guys like gregg or Woodard, can we really say that we really believe that? Or is it cynicism that tells us that? Having communicated with gregg, graham and dorrie about placement for next year, i KNOW that they care for their staff and do NOT see us as a number or as having value only as far as strategy goes.
i think there is a clear biblical call to submit to our authorities and to our leadership. i think we do, however, need express what our heart’s desires are and make sure that we communicate what we believe God is calling us to and often, that will line up to where leadership is taking us.
But yea, I feel pretty strongly about this issue after having worked in leadership and with other leaders b/c I think we give our leaders a bad rap that is undeserved, particularly in C4C. we need to trust our leaders (not blindly), and I think we need to submit to them. I think submission demonstrates humility and a trust that God is sovereign as he works for through those that he has appointed as leaders. That doesn’t mean we can’t express our desires or our opinions. It just means that at the end of the day, we need to be willing to trust and follow as they lead.
wow lydia... i totally was thinking about the EXACT same thing this past couple of months. I realized that it wasn't c4c that I was interested in right now, it was Montreal in general, & francophonie. And Montreal staff haha.
But Angela (my housemate & one of the ksls here at queens) challenged me that if I have a desire and feel called to go to Montreal that I should step out in Faith that God would place me there rather than Winnipeg (which would be the most horrible thing EVER haha).
i heart you. p.s. think about some jonny pipes .... God is most glorified when, Lydia??
hmmm i know you're right dlu. its hard to explain what's going on right now... i think, the disillusionment of placement and such is just a symptom of other various variables which have been taking place lately re: campus ministry and other such things...
we'll talk sometime.
but in general, tonight you have been used to convict me of my own stubborn heart.
thanks for your words of truth.
ok, so i've already commented one two many times, but a couple points of clarification:
i) this was not intended to be a rebuke. just some thoughts along the same lines b/c i'm going through the same thing (sort of ... not so much necessarily with Montreal, but in general).
ii) nate and i weren't talking about canadian perspectives of leadership b/c i felt he was being rebellious. nate is one of the most teachable guys i know in fact. we were just talking about it is all.
iii) ok, finished.
Matthew 6:33-34
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
yo darren, i think that was a amazingly solid comment, especially about trusting staff. Gets me thinking that when you join up with C4C, you need to know you're commissioned both to the ministry and whatever area you serve. otherwise you may get stressed out about c4c stuff you don't want to do, or get stressed on the area you hate.
also, the two can balance each other.. cause you probly won't always feel as passionate about both, but hopefully one can drive you when u don't feel gung ho for the other.
anyhow, solid comment darren. take heed would-be staffers
Publier un commentaire