Low on the Go!

blessed.

Today was a wonderfully scrumptious day. It was a day filled with ice cream, sidewalk chalk, sunshine and complete with an awesome reminder of grace. How my soul is filled with joy! I don't often blog about my day in complete, because, well, I dislike reading blogs like this, so I don't enjoy putting my readers through this. But, today was a pretty amazing day..so here goes! You are duly forewarned.

I woke up late this morning, and felt pretty grumpy. Yesterday, I had a day where I truly wrestled with God; so often (actually, most of the time), I am arrogant and prideful. By the end of the day, I was tired and worn out. I was questioning (for the millionth time) whether I had made the right decision in joining staff, and was feeling really burdened, because May staff training is coming up in a month, and I still had zero funds. I had gotten my dad to buy a plane ticket for me, in faith that I'd be able to pay him back, but I questioned where the money would come from. I also thought about joining staff, and how there are material things I would really like to buy, that I won't be able to (namely, a digital SLR). I also wondered what kind of an impact I've made on campus in four years..and it felt as though I had made no impact at all. Additionally, I had promised a friend that I would run an errand for him this morning, but because I woke up late, I only had a small time frame to do this errand. I wondered why I'd be so foolish as to even volunteer to serve this friend.

Quickly noticing my angry, burdened and weary heart, I stood in the shower and cried out to be free from my burdens and to experience joy in the day. Ashamedly, I admit, I prayed it with a rather unbelieving heart, but was determined to plow through the day. I set off to run the errand for my friend, grumpy that I had to go so far, wondering how I would get to campus on time. My heart soon began to melt as I saw the sunny sky and as the warm sun kissed my face. I was venturing in a part of the city that I had never been to before and I LOVED it! There were so many cute shops...it was seriously part of the city that was made especially for me!! Instantly, my grumpiness vanished as I thought about how running an errand for a friend had become a beautiful blessing for me. The air was fresh (an anomale for this smog-laden city) as I walked. When I met up with this friend to give him the stuff I had gotten for him, he put a bag on my shoulders. I looked at it... an SLR!! He had brought it to let me borrow!
I arrived at campus, and a friend gave me an envelope. I looked inside, and it was a card with money to support me for MET. I hadn't asked this friend for support, and I hadn't even made it known that I needed support, and yet here was this wad of cash staring back at me!

I went sharing, and watched with tears in my eyes as the girl I'm discipling took huge steps of faith today. Her boldness was beautiful and astounding, and it was as though our Abba was saying to me, "This is what I have used you to do. In your four years here, I have used you to multiply women who love Me and who will be bold in proclaiming My name on campus."

Then, as I sat down in the sun, I bumped into a guy I have met a couple of times. We were talking, and he asked me what I'm planning on doing this summer. I told him I was joining staff, and so I would be support raising all summer long. At that moment, he took out his wallet, and handed me some support.
I was in such shock and awe. This is a guy that I don't even really know, and here he was, being used by God to send me to a mission field. I was SO humbled.

Tonight, my heart is filled with such joy at recognizing who God is. He is not a God who has left us to fend for ourselves. He sees our burdens and He sees our needs, and He responds. How often do I forget this!! Even if He had not provided for me in such miraculous ways today, He has STILL taken care of my biggest need, which was to be delivered from His wrath. His love is steadfast and He is a merciful God. Even when I fashion 'golden calves' in my life and commit great blasphemies, He, in His great compassion does not forsake me in the wilderness. The pillar of cloud does not leave me by day to guide me on my way, nor the pillar of fire by night, to light for me the way in which I should go. He gives me His good Spirit to instruct me, and His manna He does not withhold from my mouth. He gives me water for my thirst. (Neh 9).

Serve your King.