Low on the Go!

Marvelous, Beautiful, Abounding Grace.

Well guys...I've just been experiencing such GOOD truth in the past two days. On Wednesday, I just went through this HUGE time of processing. I was wondering why I was doing what I am doing; I had been asking myself whether this is REALLY what I want to do with my life..missions, that is. I was jealous of my friends who are able to buy nice, expensive things, and tired of the slow pace being in Edmonton brings. I was jealous of a friend in an AMAZING program, that I'd love to be in. I was SO tired of the loneliness and solitude that I've had to face, being here without much in the way of Christian fellowship. I kept asking, "What if?" "What am I missing out on by doing full-time min?"

But, on Thursday, my dear and AMAZING friend Aban sent me a chapter out of J.I. Packer's book, Knowing God....WHAT a slap in the face!!

Here are some words that spoke truth into my life:

"Constantly we find ourselves slipping into bitterness and apathy and gloom as we reflect on them, which we frequently do. The attitude we show to the world is a sort of dried-up stoicism, miles removed from the 'joy unspeakable and full of glory' which Peter took for granted that his readers were displaying (1Pet.1:8, KJV). 'Poor souls,' our friends say of us, 'how they've suffered'--and that is just what we feel about ourselves!

But these private mock heroics have no place at all in the minds of those who really know God. Tbey never brood on might-have-beens; they never think of the things they have missed, only of what they have gained. 'But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ,' wrote Paul. 'What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish (dung, KJV), that I may gain Christ and be found in him...I want to know Christ.' (Phil. 3:7-10)....what normal person spends his time nostalgically dreaming of manure? Yet this, in effect, is what many of us do. It shows how little we have in the way of true knowledge of God.

Anyways, what a slap in the face! Yesterday, I reveled in the goodness of the gospel, and realized that I have been squandering my time here in Edmonton. Sure, I've been doing support raising. Sure,I've been discipling this one girl. But realistically, I have not doing much else in way of being fruitful and investing the talents He has given me. So today, I spent a good 2 hours just praying and reading the Bible. I prayed that He would make me fruitful, and what an answer! I'd like to work up from 2 hours spent praying to 3, then 4 and then 5. If I'm not doing much during the day, I may as well spend it chatting with God and praying for His glory to be revealed to my supporters and to..well..everyone!

Here's something cool as well! The girl I'm discipling and I shared the gospel with a youth from my parents' church tonight...and he came to Christ!

What a great reminder for me, alongside that from Packer and from the Word, that there is NOTHING as good and as glorious as God, and investing in His eternal kingdom.

mmm.

When something like this happens and you see it 'click' in someone's eyes, you realize that everything else really IS rubbish, compared to knowing Jesus.