to prove the shutter is still opening and closing.


My dad says he hasn't seen my pictures in awhile. "Are you still using your camera?", he asks.

Yes, yes I am. I go through phases of creative inspiration and phases of drivel-driven nonsense. I have some friends (see JAlm) who seem to just CHURN out the quality...but I can't seem to be consistent like this. Maybe it's because I don't force myself. I'm not sure. But, with a new lens in hand, I have resolved to try taking a picture a day, because, well, as the last page of the four laws explains, we shouldn't rely on our feelings. Way to take a spiritual analogy and turn it into another form of drivel, Lydia.

Meh. Same idea applies. Let's be honest though. Resolutions rarely last more than 26 days, and thus, no promises will be made as to when my photos will materialize on the web. But, there's a photo for today at least. And...as usual, if you desire to see more, there's always shutter release... a collection of old and new shots.




::a photo a day keeps the doctor away #001::

Colds.

Today, I am sick with my 3rd cold of 2008. If you include the flu, I've been sick 4 times since January 1st. Oh, and don't forget the ridiculous cold that lasted all of December.

This is getting ridiculous. IMMUNE SYSTEM.... COME ON!

Long week.

It's been awhile since I've posted something open and honest here.

but tonight will be no different. It's only Tuesday and I feel like this week is long and has been dragging on.

so, to bed I go. perhaps tomorrow will be a new day.

but here's a question:

why not me?

because i don't look back.


i'm not looking back.

beloved Queen Street.

Because we don't have cable, and because i've been to lazy (cheap?) to buy an antennae, I'm often behind on national news. But today, I heard about the fire on Queen Street West, and it breaks my heart. This was an area that I frequented often, and one of my favourite perusing shops, Preloved, has been destroyed. Hopefully something good will come out of this tragedy.

bizarre afternoon.

Today, I had a bizarre walk home from campus. I just felt this sudden swarm of compassion for the broken and hurting. I cried for a coworker out east whose baby has a chromosome defect (a deletion of chromosome 7Q). I cried for a guy I have never met, but whose blog I read on a constant basis. I cried for all the suffering that is so prevalent in our world and all the trials that people go through.

It was a weird moment. I'm not sure what brought it on. I just felt this sudden surge of compassion and urgency to pray.

And I thought to myself, "Wow, when His kingdom comes, what a sweet day it will be."

on crafts and valentine's day.

Well, happy valentine's day, all ye faithful blogstalkers/blogroll buddies! Hope it was a good one! Mine turned out to be quite the packed day.... but with nothing remotely romantic....and not even ro_ _ _tic (romantic without the man)!!

A couple of highlights.
1. i saw a guy come to Christ today!
2. i got a five and a half journal in the mail today!!
3. i made gocco valentines day cards.

Expound:

1. i hopped over to McGill today and took a girl who had only been sharing once before out on the campus. We talked to a guy, who had grown up "Christian" but didn't really GET it. When we went through the four laws, he kept nodding. Initially, he didn't think someone could get to know God personally. But at the end, he said he had never prayed the "sinners prayer" before....and that it reflected the desire of his heart! Cool beans.

2. Every month, I treat myself to something nice. I really like supporting independent artists/crafters/businesses. Last month, I saw the five and a half journals and i just FELL in LOVE with them! So this month, I put in an order for one. It came within two weeks! And the wonderful owner, and journal maker, Judy, even put in an extra postcard AND handwrote me a little note!! if you're ever looking for a blank journal guys, seriously, order from her! This little journal feels FANTASTIC in my hands.

3. Instead of going out tonight, like I had originally planned, I stayed home, reveled in sweet aloneness and made Valentine's Day cards. Yes, late, I know. But everyone loves a random card, even if it is months late. I figure, i still owe some people Christmas presents. DISGUSTING. I know. I love my gocco!!! I hope my bulb and filter order comes soon! I'm completely out of materials. (If you're wondering what the picture is.... It's a girl standing with a smiling heart (a human heart, not the shape of a heart) in the palm of her hand. It says happy heart day. Which is....quite punny. Props to my friend Shelly, who thought it up.

j-mies.

this post is dedicated to my friend (and little brother) j-mies (pronounced m-eyes) who reads this blog but does not comment. like ever.

blogging community: this is called stalking.

yes, j-mies, you are a stalker.

hmmm...

i needed a picture for my monthly (or not-so-monthly-of-late) newsletter. I wanted to use this one.


sadly, i needed a portrait (vertical) picture, not landscape...and this one did not fit. Additionally, there was a lot of dead space in the centre of the picture, subtracting its effectiveness.

So.... I loaded the picture in photoshop...and.....cropped Imanzi out..and pasted him in the centre, and then cropped the picture:my roommate thinks this is a bit of a lie..... so the question is...

creepy? non-creepy?
legit? non-legit?

am i a liar for using this "created" picture in my newsletter?

happy chinese new year!!

***
On Saturday a really cute girl from the church i've been going to, here in montreal, came up to me, hugged me and exclaimed, "I LOVE YOU, LYDIA!"

Since this was maybe the 4th time i'd met her, i was caught off guard. So... i said...

"Thank you."

actually, i said...

"Aww, you're nice. Thank you."

Somehow, i don't think you're supposed to reply with a thank-you in this scenario.

some days are just bad, confusing days.




and though i drew this off the top of my head, it looks very familiar. i'm pretty sure i've ripped off someone's stick drawing style... so if you know who, let me know. it's vaguely salad fingers, but not quite.

home.

i'm pretty sure i had a small panic attack walking home today. i couldn't breathe and had to take in large gulps of air, i felt nauseous and wanted to vomit, i was sweating even though i was outside and i felt like the world was closing in on me.

i hate my house.

sometimes, after a staff meeting, i'll sit and dawdle around at my director's house, because i don't want to go home. i hate the darkness and the red walls. i hate red walls. they remind me of blood. i really like baths, but i hate taking baths in this house; the water stays yellow, no matter how long i run the tap for, and it reminds me of urine. the carpet in my room grosses me out. i don't even know what makes brown stains like the ones on the dirty grey carpet. The toilet never flushes properly and there isn't enough water pressure to run more than one tap at a time.

i hate how the house is dirty, and i never feel like cleaning or improving the house, because let's be honest, why clean when the place is already disgusting?

i hate knowing that in the 3 months i've lived here, there has been a break in, and a man who has seen me fully naked. i hate having to look up into my skylight to make sure no one is there before i use the toilet. i hate turning onto my street, and having to hold keys between my fingers, wondering if i'll make it to my house without getting mugged.

buying a place probably won't happen. with my current salary, i don't qualify for much of a mortgage, and the only way i can qualify for an increased mortgage is if i got my roommate to sign a lease agreement with me. she doesn't want to move. i also don't want to take handouts from my parents.

i could move out into a different place, but i'd have to live alone and i kinda like my roommate.

i feel trapped whenever i sit in this house. It's like the walls close in on me.

shortest blog ever.

i think i am slowly making friends. trying to engage.

the end.