Low on the Go!

salt and light.

"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

***

"I don't really publicize that I'm a Christian. I might, if they ask, or you know, if they ask what I'm doing, I'll tell them I go to church, but I don't really publicize it much."

***

"Everyone will know you are Dr.______"

***

I've been thinking a lot about a conversation I had recently. The conversation replays itself over and over in my mind. Its raw quality was attractive, but the reality that I was reminded of was devastating to me. Let me explain.

Too often, I trick myself into thinking I am a good person. After all, my job description is replete with "goodness". I mean, the title "missionary" lends itself to a picture of religiosity and piety. The truth is, though, if someone were to look at my life, would they SEE enough to ask me if I was a Christian? Probably not. Inherently, there is not much good in me. That is why I am so in need and in want of grace. Is my life so much more moral than a non-Christian's life? Probably in some circumstances, but the truth is, probably not compared to most. All in all, I am an averagely good person. The thing that sets me apart, in fact, from a non-Christian isn't necessarily my actions (although it IS my hope that the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit would be plentiful) but my recognition that though I am outwardly a "good Christian", I am, as Paul would say, the worst sinner. When I see my judgemental thoughts, my cowardly actions and feelings, I realize just how much I am in need of grace.

I was sitting with a group of friends on Sunday, and we were all talking. I can't remember how we got onto the topic, but someone ended up mentioning that she doesn't publicize that she is a Christian. She might, if someone asked her, or perhaps if someone asked what she was doing on a Sunday, she might tell them that she was heading to church. But to publicize it..well, she didn't really do that. Others nodded in agreement. Jesus' words from Matthew 5 came to my mind. About being salt and light. About how light isn't meant to be hidden, but to be exalted, and how as bearers of light we need to be putting it on a stand for all to see.

It's so easy, in my own life, to be tricked into thinking that if I do enough good things people will ASK me why I am the way I am. I need to repent of this pride, because in reality, I am not a good person. Not good enough. And even if I WAS a ridiculously GOOD person, people probably wouldn't give glory to my Father in heaven. They'd probably just give ME all the glory thinking, "Wow, Lydia is such a good person. Good for her."

The truth is that none of us are good enough. We're not good enough to MERIT salvation, and the sad part is, we're often not good enough for people around us to ask us why we're different. And, even if we are good enough representatives, most people in this day and age don't care enough to ask, because this world is all about the glory and the "goodness" of humanity.

Later on in the conversation, someone mentioned that everyone would one day know that one of the guys is a doctor, because he'll have the title "Dr." in front of his name. It was something to be proud of. Something valued. Something that will be proclaimed.

At that point in our conversation, I thought about my own name. How "missionary" Lydia isn't worthy of much. How I'll never be known as someone brilliant. How my occupation isn't something that the world deems important or anything to be proud of.

I thought about Jesus. How in this day and age, the name of Jesus is profaned, not something that is proclaimed. Even amongst Christians.

I was sad.

And as I sit here, I realize that I may never be a rich doctor/dentist/lawyer. I may never have fame or fortune. But I DO have the chance to give light to the world. If people can be so proud as to exalt human efforts, which are here today and gone tomorrow, then how much MORE worthy is the name of Jesus, here today and forevermore?

It isn't enough, then, for me to just do good works and hope that people will ask me why I am different. I AM no different. And I need to make this known.

My name is Lydia. I am a Christian. Though I hope that you see Christ in me, the truth is, most of the time, I am probably too carnal for you to notice. Being a Christian doesn't make me any better than you. In fact, you are probably just as moral as i. That's why Jesus is so amazing. Because He doesn't require us to be any better than the next in order to gain His saving grace. Rather, He takes us as we are, and allows us to know Him in a real and personal way. You may never ask me WHY I'm different. I hope you will. But I want you to know that there IS a difference because grace is a beautiful thing. And when it covers imperfections, the byproduct is a liberating freedom.

The freedom that comes from believing in Jesus is too good a thing to hold inside in the hopes that SOMEONE out there might ask. Somehow, it just bubbles up and out, and I just NEED to tell everyone I know that I am in love with the person of Jesus.

I hope that one day, the friends i hung out with on Sunday will experience this sensation.

Way back, a man named Jeremiah experienced this.

May we be like him.

If I say, "I will not mention him,
or speak any more in his name,"
there is in my heart as it were a burning fire
shut up in my bones,
and I am weary with holding it in,
and I cannot.
~Jeremiah 20:9