Low on the Go!

who needs gossip girl...

When i could probably write my own soap? i wish i could relate to you all the events that have been happening in my life of late. Some days, i wake up and wonder if i've stepped onto the set of All My Children, or something ridiculous like that. The amount of randomness that has happened to me this month is ridiculously high and insane.

At the same time, i don't know if i've ever been in love with God as much as i am now. The transformation He's done in my life, of late, is so astounding to me. The way He has been directly answering my prayers is humbling and beautiful; that we can pray and ask Him to change the weather, or change our relationships brings me to my knees.

It has been my prayer lately that He would consume ALL of me. That i would meet Him each day and see His glory (cf. Moses, Exodus 33:18). Yesterday morning, i prayed some for some very specific changes to happen in my life and by the end of the night, this prayer was answered. i asked Him to enable me to yield everything to Him in perfect resignation and dependence, knowing full well that on my own, i would not be able to yield. And at the end of the night, when my prayer was answered, i did not feel loss. Just a sense of complete peace. Perfect resignation and dependence.

I wrote this in my journal:

Lord God,
You are so good to me. Your peace--it transcends all understanding. A couple of days ago, i sat in Myriad, looking out the window, wondering what i'd do if you took these things away from me, how i'd feel. And in a sense, you have taken these things away from me. All the control, all the hopes and dreams. I feel like Abraham, laying down Isaac, ready to slay him for Your Glory. But at the same time, I feel this sense of peace. Did Abraham feel this way as he raised up the knife? In the "final moments" did he feel this sense of peace and comfort? You have changed me, Father. Somehow, in the deep recesses of my heart, I believe that You indeed are good. Not just good, but Good.
What will you choose to slay, and what will you choose to resurrect? i do not know, but i know that your plans are good, and that You will provide (Exodus 22:14) what is good and true in Your due time.

Life with God is sometimes like Gossip Girl. You never really know where the story will go on a specific day, but you know that it's somewhere exciting, and you know that at the very end, the Lovers will get together (Hos 2:14-20) and all will be well.