Low on the Go!

on seeing him with eyes of faith.

You know, i'm a pretty independent person. i guess when you move away from home at 16 to the largest city in Canada, you quickly learn to become independent. Maybe a part of it is being an only child. Maybe another part of it is just my personality. Whatever the case, i'm often confident (maybe too confident at times) of my ability to sustain myself and to lead others.

Perhaps It is a pride thing; i don't like to ask for help. Other than my bookshelf, i can say that everything in my room was assembled by me and maybe a couple of other females. Sometimes, my feminist, sinful, independent-self tells me i don't need men....

...Especially not "non-solid" men. Sure, i submit myself to male leadership... but only if i trust that he is wise, mature, theologically sound, fantastic, great, (insert positive adjective here or read: john piper).

Fastforward to my present life. Being on staff provides me with amazing opportunities to work with older, wiser men who i would trust with my life. But being at the church i'm at is often harder. i lead a study of all guys (let's not go into the theological/doctrinal implications of this right now), who often times have trouble doing one quiet time a week, let alone follow servant leadership patterns described in 1 Timothy 3. And sometimes, the sinful, prideful me thinks to myself, "I'm better than these guys, why would i ever submit to their leadership?" instead of asking myself, "How can i, as a sister in Christ, help develop these guys so that they can become servant-leaders that i would not only be willing to follow, but delight in following?"

i don't see the guys in my life with eyes of faith for the men that God could make them.

Instead, i compare them with men who are 20, 30 years older. Why can't so and so be like John Piper? Why can't he communicate his thoughts like Driscoll or Keller? He doesn't measure up to my director...He doesn't...(fill in negative attribute here).
I forget that all these guys, all the men i look up to in my life have a good 10,20, 30 years of experience, cultivation and seasoning to have become the men that they are.

In January, i went snowboarding with a friend. It was his second time going, so i encouraged him, gave him tips and corrections. By the end of the night, he was pretty good. i could still beat him down the hill, but he wasn't too far behind.
The next time we went, he had drastically improved. In fact, that night, he started trying to learn how to ride switch, something i had rarely attempted before. And not only did he try to learn this new thing, he encouraged me to try learning it too. To my shame, by the end of that night, he was definitely better than me. But he had also made me into a better snowboarder by challenging me and urging me to travel to places i had never been before.

That night, i couldn't help but think to myself that my friend had taught me a really valuable lesson about having faith for the man he'll become. Initially, he wasn't in a place to lead me, but with encouragement from others and diligence, he has surpassed me in his ability and in his giftedness to lead.

This isn't just a snowboarding story that ends there. It's an analogy that extends to all females out there, to have faith in the men their brothers will become.
A year ago, i would have never thought that this friend would challenge me the way he does, or cause me to see and trust God in greater and deeper ways. But somehow, it has come to the place where he does both, and more. i trust him and would willingly submit to his leadership, because i see his constant desire to walk in step with God and his ever-growing ability to teach me new things.

The mark of a solid guy then, may not actually be that he is fully solid (i mean, who actually is fully 100% solid?), but that he is on a trajectory that is set to love God more and more each day.

And so, maybe my role, as i walk into the Bible study i have with all these guys, is not to lead these guys, or belittle them for not being the men they should be, but to spur these guys on to become men of God. To encourage them to take steps of leadership and humility, and to trust that as they learn to love God more, they will become men that i can trust and depend on. Godly, servant-hearted leaders who will spur me on to love God more.