Low on the Go!

blank canvas.

It seems to me that if i have loads of free time to spare, i should be able to spend more time doing all the things i love, like writing, reading, shooting (pictures not guns), and crafting and playing music.
But the phenomenon seems to be that when there is a blank canvas of time, i become a slothful monster who ambles out of the cave only to find food and retires right after to meet Sleep.

Isn't this the way things often are? We long for summertime, but then summertime comes and is wasted away in the blink of an eye. We long for boyfriends or marriage or kids, but before we know it, life has passed by, and the only wish that seems to be left is to travel back to the past and relive it, because we missed out on it while we were waiting for the future to come.

i was thinking about this recently, but it seems to me that we spend a lot of time living in the future. Hoping for things to come. Bargaining with Future for things to be different tomorrow. The thing is, we can't really live in two places at once, and so if we live in the future, we can't really live in the present. And maybe thats why, once we're in the future, we live in the past, mulling over those failed times, sharing the past with Regret.

i know this is a simple little moral that we've all heard before, and perhaps Jim Elliot summed it up the best when he said, "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."

Today, i was sitting with my director, and he said something that struck me. It went something to the effect of: "The more of a leader you become, the more you have to create your own vision instead of relying on someone else to give/cast you that vision." Often, i wait for life to give me vision. Wait for tomorrow to come to propel me forward. But maybe, with a blank canvas, sometimes you just have to sit down and be in the present and see the way things are, and the way you hope they'll be in the future, the way you know they'll be in the distant future, and then make your way, day by day, living in the present moment, rejoicing in today and being all here, because the way we live today, whether it be with apathy or passion, will influence the way tomorrow plays out.