Okay. i need some advice on wedding etiquette!
So it's January February, and Sam and i need to be finalizing our wedding party. (Is it crazy that we haven't done so already?)
ANYWAYS, here's my conundrum. Initially, i had asked my wonderful friend J.W. to be one of my bridesmaids. However, recently, a VERY wonderful thing has happened to her, and she is getting married one week before Sam and I!
Thus, for obvious reasons (i.e. honeymoon!!), she can't be a part of our wedding party anymore.
Here's my conundrum:
i have a friend who i thought about asking to be a bridesmaid, but hadn't yet (because Sam is still trying to figure out his groomsmen situation). We aren't super close friends (mostly, i think, because of distance), but i love this girl dearly, we have tons of fun (at least, i think so?) together, and i would like us to become closer friends.
Now, however, if i ask said girl to be a bridesmaid, do you think she would feel as though she was my "second-rate" choice? As in, J.W. couldn't be a bridesmaid, and i need an warm body to fill her place? Because, that's not the case (prior to the J.W. situation, i had already considered asking this girl, but kept wavering back and forth since Sam didn't know how many groomsmen he wanted to have, and also because i didn't know if it would be awkward, since we aren't super close close friends) and i wouldn't want her to think that i am just using her! i actually like this girl a lot (probably more than she likes me, since she is the kindest, most friendly and encouraging girl i know...and everyone who knows her likes her)!
Someone, please give me your thoughts!!! What should i do about this conundrum? To ask or to not ask?
7 commentaires:
If the Sam side is fixed, you should ask. She will be flattered she was asked. It is likely that she didn't think you'd consider her. She will hopefully understand that BM situations are almost always filled with tension although they should not be. A friend should be willing to serve you since it's your wedding!
Most people by now should know that you have different friends, which is a good thing!
That is my 2 cents!
I agree with Silas, most people would be reasonable enough to understand this kind of situ and feel great about being asked. I would wait till Sam finalizes his side, though, un-asking is more awkward I think.
I found this, guest list and table seating arrangements to be the most stressful part.
I agree with both Silas and Tarren (Tara and Darren??) if it were me I wouldn't feel second rate. I would just be glad to be part of your day in such a special way!
I think you should wait til Sam's side is decided, and then talk with her either way and be honest.
One of my Vancouver friends who DIDN'T ask me to be in her wedding party explained that it was because of my summer travel schedule and that made perfect sense to me and I felt so honoured that she'd even considered asking me.
Wow, who is this amazing friend. Based on the way you described her, I want to know her too!
She doesn't necessarily have to feel hurt that she's a second choice. Especially if both you and she understand that you're not "super close", then you can totally ask her and tell her it's because you'd like for you and her to become CLOSER friends through this :) It's the truth, and you don't have to pretend like she would have been your first choice :P
But honestly, I decided to post because I have a WAY better suggestion. I can be your bridesmaid!
hopefully, u've already asked her at this time. lolz
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