Low on the Go!

so i finished reading the book Burnout by Myron Rush yesterday morning (saturday morning)....had a bit of time between now and then to contemplate it...

At first, upon reading it, i was irritated by what i thought was arrogance at the way he presumed to know what everyone going through burn-out experiences. But after i cooled off a bit, i realized that most, if not all of what he was saying was true about myself. the words crippled me to my knees. He's pretty blunt. Here are some of the points he mentions:

Burnout can be defined as the type of stress and emotional fatigue, frustration and exhaustion that occurs when a series of (or combination of) events in a relationship, mission, way of life, or job fail to produce an expected result.
Burnout usually occurs to goal-oriented high achievers who are driven to succeed. Their appointment books are usually full, and they have always done more than their share of work.

People helpers are prone to burnout.
High achievers risk burning out.
When burnout occurs, its victims can no longer deal with people or handle daily problems.

9 factors that cause burnout:
-feeling driven instead of called~ they feel compelled to do the job FOR God rather than let Him accomplish it THROUGH them. They rely on their own strength instead of God. People who are driven are doing the job for themselves--not for the Lord, even though they may not be aware of that.(haha that one made me SO angry at first...who was he to tell me thats what i do?)

- failing to pace ourselves~ people who experience burnout have not learned to keep their lives in balance.

- Trying to do it all ourselves~ high achievers have a great need for recognition (again, this made me SUPER mad until i realized its a verity in my own life. *sigh*)
Most highly productive people aren't aware of their personal limitations--in fact, many of them don't think they have any. They continue to load themselves down with work, and because they are highly motivated and productive people, they get a lot accomplished.

- Excessive contact with people's problems~ Working with people requires a great deal of patience. Unfortunately, most high achievers are not noted for their patience. High-achieving Christian leaders frequently experience a great deal of stress--and sometimes burnout--when dealing with people, because they fail to see progress as quickly as they would like.

- Majoring on the minors~high achievers are bogged down in too many details that should have been done by someone else. They allow themselves to spend too much time and energy dealing with work and problems they should have been delegating to others.

- Unrealistic expectations~ high achievers set unrealistic goals and place excessive demands on themselves. They push themselves to the breaking point time and time again.

- An inappropriate view of God's priorities for our lives~ they aren't working for God; they are working for themselves.

- poor physical condition~ when physical needs are neglected, people are much more vulnerable emotionally and mentally.

- continuous rejection~ people dealing with continual rejections are prime candidates for burnout. Too many rejections cause us to develop negative attitudes toward people, our jobs, and ourselves.



Spent the beginning of the day moping about it, knowing these things were true but not wanting to admit it. Pretty much wrestling with God...haha shows you how much humility i have if i'm trying to debate with an infinitely capable God eh? So after i wrestled back and forth, i decided it was time to stop moping around stuffing my face with cookies. No wonder why i have no strength--sleeping and ingesting cookies does not make for a physically strong person!

So, i ran myself a nice big bubble bath, read a book and just did some relaxing. Then i decided to clean my mess of a room--i hate it when things aren't organized, makes me irritable...but while i've been in this blue funk i haven't organized anything. It was pretty much chaos--clothing everywhere, confetti from my hole punch scattered throughout my room, notes all over the place, books strewn throughout the floor and my room was beginning to smell like sleeping smell (yes warren, such a thing exists). Then i washed all my dishes in the kitchen, took out the garbage...and 5 hours later, here i am..with a MUCH cleaner room.

i realize that doing all this cleaning doesn't solve the deeper problem, but its a start to cleaning up my life. Part of the discipline required to being willing to have my heart cleansed and restructured. I booked a room at the convent (see below) to have some alone time with God and kinda get right with Him from Tuesday to Wednesday--this too i know won't solve all my problems but its a start.

i've given up organizing weekly meetings (except for the socials once a month..shouldn't be too hard) and i'm going to talk to my discipler about dropping the New Christian study (there's only 2 of them, and we've been having trouble meeting consistently) and figure out what to do with the two gals--maybe getting them to come to my other DG? or some PD time with other people involved/staff? we'll see.

on wednesday i'm meeting up with some girls in one of my classes to study for an exam we have--should be a good chance to get to know them more, make some different friends who aren't in my cru bubble.

i am not a happy person, and i KNOW that things in my life have to change--i'm tired of being all mopey and depressive. its time to stop let ministry control me and let God have that part of my life. at any rate, i better hit the sack--snowboarding tomorrow!! should be good times.