Low on the Go!

i am simply peopled out!! i love people, but by the end of the day, i am SO tired of them! hahaa sorry joshua robinson for not being so great company on the drive to Finch Station. i usually love to talk music and sermons!! one day i won't be such bad company!!
p.s. SOM, i went on iTunes and bought "Only in the Cross"... SWEETNESS! i SO wanna do this at church.
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It was mid june, and we sat down. i knew it was over. over before it even began. i held my chin up high and walked out. But as soon as i was far enough away, i cried. big tears, mixing with the pouring rain. i sat on the Métro that day and cried some more.

at the same time..i felt SO free. like a huge burden had been lifted away. they held me as i cried. i remember sitting there, rocking back and forth. crying. i remain unsure of how to describe the feeling-- elation mixed with desperation, joy mixed with pain; it was freedom. it was humbling, as though i had been chained too long and was learning how to walk once more. but walk away i did...knowing that there were bigger things in store.

ce soir, j'ai pleuré encore une fois sur le métro... d'apropos quelque chose tellement different..mais au même temps quelque chose vraiment semblabe. un visage different. j'ai vu ton visage aujourd'hui. et je suis très désole.

Way back when, i KNEW the right choice had been made. was it hard? yeah, it was. but was it RIGHT? there wasn't a doubt it my mind.

But sometimes, decisions aren't as facile. i was hoping that somehow, i'd get that feeling i did last june...the ambiguous one which cried.. FREEDOM with a mixture of glee and sorrow.

but instead the uneasiness is still here like jarring red paint on a white canvas.