Low on the Go!

One down, three to go and i am lonely.

its a bit silly actually--why am i lonely now that anja is home and deej is soon to be home? i mean roommates are human contact at its finest. i was going stir crazy alone at home without them. 3 days without communicating with another human face to face was a bit unbearable...that is, until Joshua Robinson saved me from that horrible nightmare.

So why am i lonely? Well...to be honest its the thought (and the current experience) of not talking with my best friends--one of them for three months (although we'll find a way to make sunday phone dates..i'm sure) and the others for 6 weeks. Currently Shelly has left for Calgary and Priyanka has left for some big country somewhere out in the abyss along with Janette; Amac is traipsing off on a church retreat (but then will be gone on tuesday), Warren is leaving monday and so on and so forth...leaving Lydia very alone.

although not for too long...Montreal quickly approaches! i'm looking forward to meeting new people, becoming super friends with the other female intern, Julie, and eating lots of poutine and smoked meat sandwiches. Nevertheless, i wonder...will this feeling of missing people go away? Somehow a month and a half..or three months, seems a long time to not talk to some of these friends--especially since i talk to some of them every single night.

And as the year closes, i realize that a niche truly has been carved in Toronto. This is my home. This is where the people i love are. So what happens after next year, when school is over and done with? Toronto, for the past 3 years, has been the place to return to. Wherever i go, whether its back to Edmonton or to Montreal, Toronto always stays here...waiting for me to return. it is more of my home than my home in Edmonton. Thus, its unsettling to think that at this time next year, i'll be finishing up...people will be going away once more...but this time it won't be for six weeks. it will be for the long haul. and perhaps..it won't be other people leaving me behind..but rather me leaving everyone else...to begin carving out a new niche once more.

its a bit of a scary thought. i feel as though this life of mine in Toronto is like a house that started off empty...but slowly the furnishings have begun to accumulate. And now that the house is cluttered and has that homey feel, its time to put it on sale and buy another house. as life progresses will this become easier? to go wherever God calls, whenever He calls is a very scary and liberating thing.

elect exiles.