Low on the Go!

i'm not sure why i've been blogging so much recently--studying tends to be a good means to get the creative juices flowing. probably as a way of rebellion against the banality of textbooks.

i've been thinking a lot about Acts 16 recently. The way the apostle Paul and the other apostles/disciples lived their lives were so radical--so full of faith that God would direct them. i was talking to a friend today--he pretty much has an amazing job--but he mentioned briefly that it is really tiring. i hope its okay that i quote him here. i've done it before without his permission...he'll live. ha.

never knowing what to expect...we never get to do quite what we plan, and you never know who will show up or who wont...

as soon as he said this, i was reminded of Acts 16...

And they went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go to Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them. So, in passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. And a vision appeared to Paul in the night: a man of Macedonia was standing there, urging him and saying, "Come over to Macedonia and help us." And when Paul had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go on into Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.

These two things--God's word, and a friend's humble admittance to not being able to control everything in his job--reminded me that the life we are called to live is one of faith. Sometimes, things do not make sense; in her e-mail to montreal projectiles, Katerine mentioned that she and Vaughan had thought they would be in Lebanon for over a year...and just weeks into their internship, it looks like God is calling them back home. What is God up to here? i'm not sure they know, and i definitely do not know. but God knows. And thus, it requires faith to believe that the Sovereign God who rose from the dead, who knew He would die, but also knew that He would defeat death...has good plans for our lives. plans to prosper us and not to harm us. plans to give us a hope and a future.

This is a simple reminder, and yet, a hard one to live out. Going into my final year of university (everything checks out...looks like i'll be graduating!), there are many questions which remain unanswered wholly--where will i be next year? who will i keep in touch with? will i ever get married? where will i live? will i ever go overseas? will i ever have children?

In the midst of it all, the truth is, i am wholly incapable of controlling my life. i do not have all the answers--and i should not presume that the Lord will suddenly give me an Eureka! moment wherein which i will fly out of the tub and be renamed Archimedes. i am not called to know everything, or know the answers to WHY? WHEN? HOW? and every other question that my human mind shouts out.

i want to live a life of radical, sold out faith. This means getting out of the boat when i don't know if the water will hold me up. it means walking with the hope that God will direct. and lo, He does. But it requires me to get off my throne, and stop planning every single detail of my life out as though my plans are undefeatable. As though i don't need to wait for God before going into battle. Uhhh hello, Saul did that...and the result wasn't so great. Galatians makes it pretty clear that this does not work:

Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? ~Gal 3:3

it requires an admission that i need Him to direct me and guide me. that my heart is deceitful above all things, therefore requiring His Spirit to lead. to take control.

This, anon., is the answer to your question. i know its been a couple of weeks--but i had not forgotten that you asked this question of me. i acknowledge that this is not a full answer--but it is a partial one. i didn't want you to think that i had forgotten about the question you asked...namely "why is a spirit-filled life necessary".
sometime, when i am done exams, i will try answering it more in depth than this.