Low on the Go!

if i was who i am now when i was in jr. high school, i'd probably be a cheerleader.

back in junior high, the cool people were, stereotypically, the cheerleaders. i was never cool in jr. high. in fact, the cool people threw pop can tabs at me in class. that's how uncool i was.
thankfully, once high school hit, it suddenly became cool to be a nerd, and the nerd group became the group to be in. all of a sudden, chess during lunch hour became popular and my life wasn't so miserable anymore.

even so, i wouldn't say i was ever a cool socialite. on weekends, i would go to church, mostly because i had nothing else to do. i was never invited to parties when i was in high school and i never really went out on weekends, beyond going to church. my excuse was that even if i was invited somewhere, i wouldn't be able to go...seeing as i had church.

it was probably a good thing anyways. in high school, i had a few close friends that i really enjoyed, but other than that, i was pretty introverted, and going to a party and actually having fun would have been akin to make most boys enjoy being vegetarian.

something happened in second year university though, and slowly i've developed this weird ability to be extroverted at times. especially when meeting new people. maybe some part of me enjoys it because, well, i never enjoyed it when it was everything to be popular. now, in some sort of weird way, i kinda am popular. don't get me wrong. i am definitely not cool. but somehow i've become some sort of socialite.

last weekend, i was invited to 3 thanksgiving dinners on three different nights. this weekend, i've been invited to 3 parties on three different nights. its a bit insane.

i think, however, that i need to learn boundaries. while i like people, they sap a lot of energy. and a lot of the time, i invest too much in friendships, ending up disappointed when that investment isn't reciprocated. anyways, this is something that i think i need to work on. learning to be okay with not being everyone's best friend (i used to be okay with it....i don't know when things changed) and learning not to invest in the whole world, because it just isn't physically possible, nor healthy is something i plan to work on in the next little while.

i guess thats where the principle of selection comes in. which friendships am i really going to invest in? how can i be wise in terms of my relationships with different people? these are good things to think about. i suppose some pruning is going to go on, where i learn to balance things differently and shift priorities.