Low on the Go!

oh, i can't stand you but i'm supposed to love you.

Jesus' command to love our enemies is a hard one. i feel as though lately, God has been trying to teach me about unconditional love. learning to love people even though i feel like slugging their face. fortunately, God has been gracious and has kept me from acting on the impulses in my head. being Spirit-filled has been vital....but tonight was a night where i definitely wasn't relying on the Spirit to fill me. live vicariously with me as i take you through my night....

here is an interesting fact that i think almost none of my friends know: my cousin (mum's youngest sister's son) lives in Toronto. he is a frosh at U of T and moved here in august. until today, i had not seen him. to be honest, i like to keep our distance from this aunt and uncle. Everytime i see this uncle or my aunt, they're always bragging about something. My aunt brags about her thousand dollar dresses, and my uncle brags about his business and how he makes millions of dollars (oh, did i forget to mention that they're millionaires?) This in itself would be okay, but there are other family issues and such. At any rate, i keep my distance, and i'm okay with that. Anyways, my uncle was in town on business and was visiting Sam, my cousin, so he called me up (you know, good ol' chinese family obligation) and asked me to go to dinner. i figured it wouldn't be that bad, family is family, after all. besides, when would i pass up a free meal? Whenever my mum's family comes to town (most of my mum's sisters and brothers are millionaires) they always take me to rich snazzy restaurants in yorkville...and its kinda fun entering into a world that i will never be a part of. Also, i didn't really have a choice. chinese family obligation. i thought, if anything, it would be a good chance to ask him to support me financially when i join staff with Campus Crusade (oh, btw, i started the staff application process today).

So i met up with him at his hotel. As we were having coffee, waiting for my cousin to finish class, he asked me what i was planning on doing after i graduated. i told him i was planning on joining staff with Campus Crusade for Christ, and he said, "when would you start?" So i replied, "September 2007, hopefully. it depends on how long it would take me to support raise."
"How much would you need to raise, " he asked.
"About 30 000, " i estimated.
His reply, "Why don't you get a real job?"
All this, of course, said with a cheery smile but a sneering tone.
So i replied, with a forced smile, "it is a real job."
"Doesn't seem like it to me. you know, raising support is unbiblical."
"umm, actually, support raising IS biblical. in the Old Testament, support raising went on when David planned to build the temple."
" Lydia, when you read the Bible you have to look at it in context. Are you trying to build a temple? no. besides, why doesn't campus crusade pay you. then it would be closer to a real job. besides, why would you want to become a missionary?"
" i think all of us are called to be missionaries. i just want to do it on a full time basis."
"no, not all of us are called to be missionaries."
"Really? Because in Matthew 28, Jesus tells his disciples to go and make disciples of all nations."
" Lydia, remember, i told you to read the Bible in context. When Jesus said that, he was saying it to His disciples, not to you."

Anyways, the night went on, and he proceeded to tell me that once someone becomes a Christian, there is no suffering in life (and after i pointed out Romans 5, which teaches us to rejoice in sufferings, he said "Lydia, read the context. Paul isn't talking to us, He's talking to the Romans at that time. God is a God of love. He wouldn't allow us to suffer.")

He also proceeded to tell me i should become a doctor, and do missions work as a doctor. Apparently all great missionaries are doctors.
"David Livingstone was a doctor."
"Do you think Jim Elliot was a great missionary?"
"yes."
"well, uncle, he wasn't a doctor."
silence.

Oh, he also shared with me that he gives thousands and thousands to the church, but wouldn't support me, since i'm not a church.

he said a couple of other things that really got to me, but i won't recount my whole night. i'd get mad all over again.

The whole night was spent listening to him twist Scripture to fit his warped view of God.

by the time we got to dinner, i was seething. admittedly, a part of it was pride. Where did he get off telling me that full time ministry isn't a real job? But a large part of what made me angry were his teachings on the prosperity gospel, and his heretical use of scripture. i was beyond angry. Psalm 4:4 says, "in your anger, do not sin." well..yeah, i sinned. i seriously wanted to slug the guy.
So when he said to me, "see, i'm a great Bible teacher eh? i should become a pastor." i said, all with a nice, innocent, wide-eyed smile, " The pharisees were great teachers of the day too. But they didn't have it right."

burns.


as an addendum: he didn't end up taking us to a fancy restaurant. we went for japanese. oh yeah, and this rich uncle that kept bragging about how he is going to buy a 570, 000 dollar condo for sam in yorkville tipped 6 dollars on a 70 dollar bill. talk about embarassing.

Anyways, as i got home, i wondered if what i had done was right. throughout the night i had pointed out the flaws in his use of Scripture, but i hadn't done it with humility and with love. instead, i just did it because i wanted to point out how much of an idiot i thought he was. Which probably isn't such a loving thing to do. The truth is, without the Spirit constantly filling us, it is impossible to love. Even more, it is impossible to love those we dislike. tonight, i fully admit that i was just as hypocritical as my uncle and as the pharisees. *sigh* i am a complete and utter sinner. thank you, Jesus for the justification by your blood and because of your grace. teach me how to love unconditionally.