mardi, novembre 21, 2006

whoring the heart away.

sometimes.... a lot of the time....

i think girls forget how beautiful they are.
we whine, complain...
we'd change this, we'd change that, get rid of this, add that...
and in our complaints and dissatisfaction, we ultimately insult God's own fabrication and creation.

we also whore our hearts away to men who maybe aren't all that worthwhile. sometimes we give our hearts away to solid men, but who just aren't that interested. other times, we give our hearts away to guys who aren't even solid.

we blame the guy constantly, asking why he toys with our affections.
he shouldn't do this, shouldn't have done that.
we create scenarios in our heads of what could be,
that aren't anywhere close to reality.

this isn't to say guys are completely blameless; there are some things that guys shouldn't do. they shouldn't just test the waters uncommittedly and then file the girl away for a later date.

but maybe, we shouldn't let them do so.

i guess, when i say "we", i really mean "me".

today, i've decided that i don't want to be that girl anymore.
i don't want to be the girl who vies for attention from the "perfect", "popular" dream guy.
i don't want to look in the mirror and think to myself, "maybe if i was thinner" or "maybe if i was prettier" or "maybe if i liked this instead"...
i don't want to live my life in a dream world.
i don't want to feel as though i'm competing against every other girl.

its not worth it. hmm, maybe i should learn to trust the Almighty God....

yes, i think that's a good plan.

7 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit...

Your stream of conscious posting is fascinating. There must be a lot going on in your head at any given time. It is also a wonder how you manage to post it. Sorry about the instant comment posting. I am presently procrastistalking. Its your own fault for posting so much. One always knows that there will be something new at Lowonthego. What an appropriate name too. Alright, my essay needs a conclusion. peace out.

ps. isn't is profound how often you have to stop your self and say, "trust in almighty God."

Anonyme a dit...

haha I LOVE how even random people read your blog and get so much from it! Faithful readers! See! Proves my most recent blog pots to the maximum! :) YAY!

P.s. Congratulations. I need to do the same.

Anonyme a dit...

Ugh. "proves my recents blogs post" i can't spell.

Anonyme a dit...

OK... "procrastistalking" is one of the best words I've heard since "funishment" (generally used in the context of camp counselling) and that is AWESOME. I hope the creator of that word has copyrighted it well.

Anonyme a dit...

haha, "fan of anonymity" i can't tell if that was a sarcastic comment....like a "haha, what a loser, she has no life." comment.
regardless, mr. anonymity, you KNOW i enjoy your comments all the time. you can comment as much as you like, whenever you like. procrastistalk away!!


erin: lol, i don't think "fan of anonymity" is a random person...i'm pretty sure i know who he is. lol. i don't think people who come here randomly get much out of this blog.

Anonyme a dit...

*nods profusely at anonymity's comment*

There is always something new and exciting to be read here. Procrastistalking made easy :D

Not that I'm blaming you for MY lack of discipline :P

Anonyme a dit...

wow... i totally love that word... procrastistalking.

i tend to be just simple: i'm just an all around stalker! hahaha