jeudi, décembre 07, 2006

uhh...humm.. hmmm...EUREKA!!

there's something wonderful and delightful about having an Archimedes moment.... all of a sudden, the answer just POPS out at you! you think to yourself, PRAISE THE LORD..and you know all is well.
betcha thought i had an amazing, sudden and godly epiphany eh?

sorry, its not that exciting. i was writing my intergroup relations exam today...and there was about 10 minutes left, and i had NO clue what the answer was for the second half of the essay question. So..i started making things up. i felt that sinking feeling; you know, the one you experience when you know that there's water coming into the boat, but don't have anything to do except jump overboard and hope there's no sharks in the sea. a bit of scylla and charybidis right there.
(haha, for some reason, as i was typing this, i had an image of steve strongitharm jumping out of a sinking paddle boat.)
anyways, i digress.

five minutes before the exam was to end, i had an eureka moment. all of a sudden, the answer was RIGHT there in front of me, and the only hurdle to jump over was that of time.
so, my pen flew, and i've never used messier writing....but what a great feeling! superficial, yes...but great nevertheless!
now, i'm filled with this adrenaline rush from sleeping 3 hours and all that speedy writing.
hmm, i think its affecting my writing here. my thoughts are feeling pretty jumbled and incoherent.

can you understand me right now? i hope so.

***
on discipleship.

in other news, i met up with a friend and his sister (and her really really cute kid) yesterday, and this meeting got me thinking (don't ask me how...i have weird train of thought patterns).

i realized, yesterday, that au courant, i don't really have input from people in different stages of life (parentals excluded). sure, i have GREAT accountability from friends, and ministry-wise, i have a fantastic discipler (yay Janette!)... but all the input i ever get is pretty much related to college-aged students, or from the perspective of single young adults. The english congregation at my church is primarily composed of jr/sr.high/college/career aged individuals. Because of this, we're generally all at the same stage of life. none of us (well, almost none) are married, none of us have kids... you get the gist. With any of the older people in our congregation, there's a communication lag, because i don't speak chinese (or italian....we have this one older lady who is italian....hahaha. she's cute. loves chinese people).

i think, while i was frantically studying, i came to the realization that i WANT input from a woman at a different stage of life. i DESIRE to be discipled by someone a bit older than me who can offer me a different perspective on life. i want someone godly who can teach me about what it is like to be a mother (other than my own mother) and what it is like to be a wife. Someone who can help me prepare for the day, Lord willing, that i become one of these things. and, if i never become one of those things, that's fine too, because i will have learned life principles and shared beautiful things with said person.

i think it would be lovely to spend time with this person, and learn from osmosis. not a rigid "let's learn this today", but more of a "let's spend time together, so that you can learn from me" type deal.

i don't know if that makes sense.

and i don't know where i'll find the said person. how does one proceed to find someone to disciple her when its not in a solid ministry context? i think i'll have to pray about this.

maybe, i'll even pull a Selene Lau and ASK someone straight up to disciple me. maybe. seems a bit of a role reversal....

do you have to be friends with someone before you can ask them a question like this? if so, what friends do i have at a different stage of life? not many...if i did, i would already have some sort of accountability relationship with them right? haha... i should put an ad in a newspaper or something.

i can see it now:

one scf (single chinese female) looking for married with children woman to develop a discipleship friendship with. preferably mid-twenties to late 40s/early 50s...

bizarre.
i am not sure. seems uncanilly similar to asking someone out on a first date.

anyways, i'ma going to pray about this some more.

12 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit...

You'd ask someone out in their late 40's to early 50's? isn't that kinda creepy?

peace

Anonyme a dit...

LOL, isn't single, married with children an oxymoron?

But I totally understand what you mean there about wanting the wisdom, counsel and fellowship with an older more mature women. The Bible actually commands that such relationships exist, so it definately isn't weird that you desire that.

Oh and as an aside... if you're reading this, apparently I know you "fan of anonymity".... but I'm having a tough time figuring out who you are. I need to shake your hand for coming up with the word procrastistalking. Email me :P (jonathan.park.me@gmail.com) or drop me hints on my blog :P (Sorry for using your comment space like this Lydia.)

Anonyme a dit...

hahahhaha thanks jon park...

Anonyme a dit...

oh, and nate dawg, i'd ask your mom out if i could.

haha. i'm making the assumpting that that was you.

Anonyme a dit...

Just totally tell the person you want to hang out with them. I remember my first year I asked Wendy to disciple me before she even brought it up and I barely knew her then. She was awesome about it. There's no rules...I don't think :s. Whatever the case, people usually like meeting new people. If you have someone in mind you should just go for it!

Anonyme a dit...

PRIYANKA, HOW IS ARIZONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ahhhhh i feel like i haven't seen you in agessssss!!!

can you email me your address there so i can send you a little something something and also so i can get my pens shipped there? haha..

Anonyme a dit...

assumption.

not assumpting.

sorry, i lack sleep.

Anonyme a dit...

i asked kman to disciple me.

that was before i really know about "selection." heh.

but it's worked out great for me. can you believe he's almost 40?!?!?! he looks like he's 27 or somethin. donc!

Anonyme a dit...

WHAT? DONC, he's almost 40???

you're a liar!!!

Anonyme a dit...

only you could get an adrenaline rush from writing an exam.

I feel so sorry for you.

Anonyme a dit...

haha. even though i think Warren's comment is *technically* mean, it still made me laugh. hah.

and yea, i think kman turns (or turned???) 38 this year. i think he will always be perpetually 34 in my mind ... even though that was how old he was when i first met him.

Anonyme a dit...

ooh it's definitely fantastic to have a close relationship with someone older that can offer a more experienced perspective in things!! it's awesome that you see that need in yourself.... i hope you find someone! one of my closest buds these days is 30-something..... he's great for talking to. i love it.... it's like having an older brother! and his cute kids definitely help his case. *heehee* ^^