Low on the Go!

Advice.

i've gotten some pretty stellar advice while i've been edmonton re: loneliness.

"you're not in edmonton to have fun with friends. you're in edmonton to support raise."

i'm not hurting because of a lack of fun. i'm hurting because it's been a month and i've had almost no Christian fellowship.

"you have lots of friends in edmonton! i've seen pictures."

just because i sit and smile with people in pictures does not mean that loneliness doesn't exist.
and just because there's smiles does not mean that there's happiness.

"maybe you need to develop some hobbies."

yes, i am going to start knitting and i will buy myself a cat and make some doilies.
i have hobbies! But even hobbies are often better with friends.

"why don't you make some friends?"

yes, it's that easy. i will go out today, and meet someone, just then and there.

"hi, i'm lydia! Can i be your frieeend?"
"uhh"
"i think i can come over today, if you're free"
"what did you say your name was again?"

yeah. piece of cake.


i thought i'd be out of here for September.

Then the end of September.

Now, even the end of September looks like it won't happen. I'd have to raise about 400 in monthly giving per week to make it for the end of September, and the way things are looking, it'll take me three times as long.

i bought a fall coat last week, because the leaves are turning orange, and i never anticipated that i'd be here past September.

i know i should feel grateful; i'm at an amazing level of support. God has really blessed me in this. But i wonder how much longer i can hold out in Edmonton. When i say i'm lonely, i'm not on a quest for advice. I'm a people person. It's not as though I'm purposely sitting at home, not attempting to meet people, not attempting to make friends.
It's one thing to have friends. It's another thing to have friends. If something had happened to me while my parents were in Florida last week, NO ONE would have known until my parents returned.

THAT is how isolating Edmonton is. It's not about the lack of "fun" I've been having. I couldn't care less about "fun". I've been having "fun". It's about knowing that if anything happened to me in Edmonton while my parents were gone, no one would have even KNOWN.

So when people tell me that I'm not in Edmonton to "have fun", they're right. I'm not. But being isolated isn't that great either. I'd like to see them try it.

The worst thing is..knowing that i'll have to buy a winter jacket, because i won't be outta here before the first snowfall hits.

AND i left my snowboard in Montreal.