Low on the Go!

i've always thought of myself as a pretty strong-willed, self-sufficient (with the exception of a need for Christ), independent gal. Even when i went through phases of low self-confidence, i was able to resist most peer pressure--i've never smoked, never gone clubbing, rarely drink (mainly becuase my body can't handle it..haha). i mean, i moved 3 provinces over into Canada's largest city where i knew almost absolutely no one--that says a lot in itself about my independence.

Even in terms of dating...the majority of my friends in jr. high and high school were dating behind their parents' back. i on the other hand, dumped my 'hand holder' in grade 8 very promptly because i didn't WANT to do things without my parents being in the know.

i've always thought to myself, whether i remained single or got married..i'd be happy either way. Marriage isn't something i perpetually think about, nor is sex really. i've been so independent, especially in the past couple of years, that i've thought marriage isn't something i need. the line of reasoning being: i don't need someone to be there for me or to 'complete' me; i can fend for myself.

But ever since that scary man incident, i've been thinking more about this...and i realize, maybe...i'm not as strong and as independent as i thought i was. That perhaps, like every other female, i WANT that special someone to be there, to protect me and to love me. (do not get me wrong...i REALIZE fully that God is always there to protect me and love me)

At any rate, today i walked into my kitchen and discovered an imposing amount of ants maneuvering up my sink. there were hundreds--so i called out to my roommate, but either she was listening to music or napping and didn't hear me. So i was left on my own to conquer the ants.

At this point, the thought flashed through my head. You know, the cheesy romantic comedies where the boyfriend comes and saves the day. i thought to myself, "man, if i had a boyfriend, it would be his duty to come and be my knight and save me from the enemies--namely the ants--invading my territory."
But alas, there was no one..and i had to fend them off by myself. They're gone--for now. Which goes to show, i don't NEED someone to ward off the ants--i just WANT someone to do that.

but i guess for now, i am knight-in-shining-armourless. i suppose i am okay with this. i've made it almost two decades without one. it would be nice to have one in the future though :) hehe. well, whatevs, i'm done dwelling on this. moving on to other things, namely psychology and peace and conflict studies.