ridiculous.
it's ridiculous that i'm up at 3am because i'm scared someone else is in the house. someone unwanted. i'm not usually this jumpy, but tonight i'm so paranoid, i'm seriously typing slowly so that the clicking of my keyboard is unheard.
When i was on the phone at 11pm with my friend Jesskah, I kept telling her I thought someone was in my house. Eventually she told me to shut up or go check. The thought of me being unarmed and facing an intruder......i shut up. Concurrently, my friend Francis had to convince me to go pee because i was scared to leave my room.
i've gotten altogether about 1 hr of sleep. Restless sleep. I just woke up because i heard a huge BOOM come from outside my room. But, i don't want to go check to see what has happened...I'm sure something has fallen or something else..but i don't want to check because....see above paragraph.
as i said..i'm not usually this jumpy when i'm alone. I've never felt this anxious. I don't know why tonight my sympathetic NS is going up the wazoo. Maybe it's the week of bad dreams I've had that there's an intruder in the house.
woo. i know my roommate doesn't want to move. and i really like living with this roommate. But next year, i think i need to move somewhere where there's security.
i'm gonna crash tomorrow during all the meetings.
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3 commentaires:
that is pretty ridiculous.
i'm back in blogspot now. so pls. comment. even if it doesn't relate to my post. :P
Take care Lydia. I have times of extreme paranoia as well. Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting to fall asleep but sleep always helps. You've had a lot of change in your life. Just remember to take it a day at a time and keep praying. Be honest with God and with your Christian friends too. He's walking with you and they'll have words of wisdom for you.
man I hate to follow up such a [serious] and kind comment with, "That's the weirdest use of 'up the wazoo' that I've ever heard." But it is. It really is.
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