dimanche, octobre 05, 2008

i don't know what kind of girl i am.

i hear ya, Juno. i hear ya.
i dunno, today is one of those days. i went to bed feeling kinda blah, and woke up feeling blah. Whilst in the shower, i argued with myself over whether i wanted to go to church or not. Today was one of those rare Sundays when I had absolutely no responsibilities for church, and did not feel like going. i have not not gone to church for no reason in... i can't even remember how long. A very long time. Maybe since i was a kid. Anyways, i hemmed and hawwed for a very long time, and thought to myself, "If Loni calls me and offers me a ride, I'll go."

Loni only calls whenever Andy is preaching, and i figured she wouldn't call me. So, with wet hair, i jumped back into bed, pulled the covers over my head, set my alarm and prepared for sleep.

My phone rang. It was Loni.

Shoot, why do things like that happen?

i felt sad in the service. i don't know why. i just was.

Do you ever have days like this? Where you feel alone, and yet don't want to be with anyone? After service, i dashed out the door, proceeded to find some comfort food (read: mcdonalds) and headed home.

The sun is shining outside, and it is a gorgeous day. i am lonely, but i don't want to be with anyone i already know.

As i typed this, a huge grey cloud swallowed the blue sky.

i am going to back to bed.

4 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit...

Lydia,
Maybe you don't think anyone you know would be of any help for your loneliness. Who is there that understands?

I need to come to terms with the fact that God loves us even though life generally sucks. No matter how much God blesses me, my attitude is that of unsatisfied. This world is never going to be perfect, and true happiness seems like only a myth or a fairy tale.

Sid S. a dit...

i feel lonely most of the time. usually when i'm alone. because that's the only time that i can fully realize the loneliness i feel.

big mac with large fries is always good.

Anonyme a dit...

i don't know how you can eat that stuff... but to each his/her own.

Anonyme a dit...

Oh, comfort food.
http://lulublog.com/2008/10/14/research-concludes-comfort-foods-really-do-comfort/