Low on the Go!

my friend Sara.

A couple of years ago, i was really good friends with a girl named Sara. She was one of my best friends. We'd talk almost every day for hours. i remember lying on my bed on the phone with her, and there would be moments of silence, but it wasn't awkward or weird. Just comfortable, like good friends always are. She'd visit and we'd have a blast.

But life happened, and we didn't really talk much anymore. Our phone calls became fewer and farther between. Sin got in the way, and we talked even less. And soon, it seemed too hard to pick up the phone, because i didn't know how to update her on how my weeks were going.

It's been a year and a half since i've heard her voice. I'd think about her often. Wonder how she was doing, wonder what new things were happening in her life. i guess i missed her. i guess i miss her.

Recently there were some efforts to, i dunno, make things right.

But time changes things, and sometimes it's harder to go back to the way things were. And though you wish that you could go back to the days of phone calls in pajamas that spanned hours, lasting into the deep night, reality tells you that that may not be the case.

Sometimes, i feel this way with God. Life gets in the way, and after awhile, He feels like a stranger. After an even longer while, i don't know how to update him, don't know how to be with him. And i miss him. i think about him often. But i don't know how to make things right, i don't know how to make the silence a comfortable silence once more. i spend time wishing i could go back to the times when being with him was like a phone call lasting into the early hours of the morning.

i was reminded tonight that my relationship with God isn't like my relationship with Sara. That unlike any other human relationship, God isn't going anywhere. He hasn't gone anywhere. i don't need to make things right; he made things right 2000 years ago. There will be times of silence. Times when my life will get in the way; times when my sin will keep me away. And in those moments, i will need to fight, but it will not be a fight to bring Him back. He is always there. It will be a fight with myself to believe that he is still there, a fight with myself to make myself approach him, a fight with myself to be with him, when the easier thing to do would be to just hang up the phone.

"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Heb 4:16

"I will not leave you or forsake you." Jos 1:5b