Low on the Go!

I had a relatively good day today...UNTIL this evening...but that will come later.

This morning i woke up and went to NCAC for morning church. I had a good time...watching Francis and Mitchell act like the people on Jackass. They were flipping people onto other couches by jumping onto a couch. Good times.
I came back and decorated Tania's room because it was her b-day today while Mari distracted her.
Then I went to Freedomize with Deej and Chung. It was SOOOO good. I loved it.Then we went to mickey dees where i ate 20 nuggets. All i have to say is..regardless of them laughing at me... THAT FELT GOOOOOOOOOODD.

However, after mickey dees we had this conversation, and because of it..i'm pissed.

You don't even know i'm talking about you..but seriously, your ego pisses me off. You can't get every girl you try to get, and you HAVEN'T gotten me to fall into your trap..REGARDLESS of what you think. Just because you've gotten all these cookie cutter girls to fall in love with you..realize that I'm NOT a cookie cutter and I refuse to be one. Why do you think I've rejected so many guys? I just thought you were my friend and that I was your friend. Apparently, you seem to think that I have fallen into your trap and that I do "love you". Yeah. Well, nope. I'm not your ordinary type of girl. You can't play your games with my heart and think you will win it. You haven't. Don't assume you've won me over when you haven't. You're my friend. That's it. Sorry if i sound mean and harsh. I'm not sorry for what i'm saying, but i am saying sorry for how i'm saying it. I sound mean. You probably don't read this anyways. I'm just pissed off royally. If you do read this and know who you are...call me or e-mail me or something. Unless I'm not worth it. Which is FINE.Was I just a pawn in all of this? You may have played the game..and thought you won. But really you haven't won anything. Unless you feed off of the unhappiness of the girls you know. Do you? I can't tell. Why am I so hurt by all of this? I don't even know. I can't even answer that question. Maybe because thats all i meant to you. Another girl you could score... I actually thought you were my friend. Not some girl you could add to your list. But thats all it was wasn't it. Am i totally wrong here? Am i being that bitch that I was in Edmonton? I don't know. If I am... please tell me. okay...so now i'm sitting here thinking...and now i'm thinking that you won't want to be my friend. I'm not dependent on you. But i'm always so freakin afraid of what people will think of me. And i hate knowing people are mad at me...even though i'm mad at you. BLARGH. I'm such an idiot. I should've known it was your competitive nature. I mean..i'm the same way..but i don't go around and I don't break guys' hearts. To clarify..i don't have feelings for you. So don't think i do..just because i feel bad. But i do feel bad nevertheless. I'm sorry. I really am. Because I did enjoy this summer. I enjoyed talking to you. I enjoyed the conversations we had. But now i'm confused. I don't even know who to believe. All i know is that I need to make it clear to you that I haven't fallen into your trap..and you can't play any games whether unintentionally or intentionally with me. I am not one of the girls in the box. I'm sorry. I sound SO stupid... and I want to get rid of this..but I'm tired of holding everything in. eventually it'll come out anyways. so maybe this is good that i'm saying all of this. If you really are my friend, you'd understand anyways. Well..maybe not understand why i'm mad..but understand that i can be mad..i dunno..now i'm just confuddling myself. I'm turning into a blonde. Thats what Toronto does for ya. Maybe I'm totally wrong. Which i often am.