dimanche, novembre 04, 2007

introvert. extrovert?

You know, when I was in Edmonton, I always felt really tired. I'd wake up at 9 or 10am, and 2 hours later, I'd be tired. The only time I felt alive was when I met up with friends-- something that only happened once, maybe twice, a week.

Now, I'm here in Montreal, and this week has been exhausting. Most mornings I've woken up feeling like I've been hit by a truck. No joke. Meeting new people every day has been draining--I hate small talk-- and coming home and spending my free time painting walls instead of reading or sleeping or crafting or playing music hasn't alleviated any tiredness.

I realize that I'm not a full out introvert, but neither am i a full out extrovert . I love people, but I need the right kinds of people to recharge and I also need to be okay with being alone sometimes. A lot of the time, I say yes to doing things with people because I feel that if I don't, I'll miss out on some cool adventure. Truth is, I need to establish boundaries so that I can stay a happy person. Sometimes it'll mean I need to find people to hang out with. Other times it'll mean that I have to say a firm NO, so that I can be alone.

Moving is hard. It's a lot of small talk. Don't get me wrong, the Montreal staff team is absolutely amazing, and all the students I've met have been so great. I'm so excited to get to work with them. I know I'll love hanging out with them and that eventually I'll find the right people to recharge with. But this whole week, I've said yes to every invitation to hang out with people. In part, this has been because I am fearful of feeling lonely, like I did in Edmonton, or that if I say no, people won't ask me to hang out again. Also, I really want to get to know people, and I know that I need to hang out to do so.

Despite the great times that have been had (and there have been MANY), this past friday night was probably the most relaxing time of the week. I sat in my kitchen, read blogs, talked to some friends I hadn't talked to in a long while on msn, and basically did nothing, all alone. It was so nice to just be ALONE. This is something I never thought I'd say, whilst I was in Edmonton.

Anyways, it's late, and I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired. This blog feels very piece-y and kinda jumbled.




3 commentaires:

Jess a dit...

why do I love the metro so much? I was thinking about going to MTL to see the stars and being sad that we'll have a car, because I'll have no reason to take the metro. haha i'm such a loser!

Loco a dit...

i'm glad ur learning more about urself! =)

Justin Alm a dit...

Great photo.